Friday, July 05, 2013


I started to write a comment at Jenny's hilarious entry but it kept growing so I decided to just post it.  You're welcome.

Roy Orbison isn't blind?  Really?

I thought slugs were homeless snails too.

I was in my thirties before I realized that the short bus had an ELEVATOR, not a cage, in the back.  My parents told me that it was a cage for really bad kids.  My cousins were laughing hysterically at me when I confessed, and my brother looked confused and said, "Wait, it's not a cage?"

If you show me the word "Arkansas," I pronounce it ARK-ansas.

When we learned about maps in fifth grade, I decided that that meant that you were always heading North, and a righthand turn meant that you were turning toward the East.  A lefthand turn, of course, meant that you were turning West.

To this day, I don't like raisins in things mostly because my dad said they were beetles.  Also, he told me that tapioca pudding was made of fish eyes and I haven't eaten it since.

I also thought people were talking about the old TV show "Sanford and Son" when they went on about Mumford and sons.

To this day, I have to make my pointer fingers and thumbs into an "L" to figure out which is the left one.  And sometimes that doesn't help.

It was very recently that I discovered that "Duck Dynasty" was not, in fact, about ducks.  I thought it was like that meercat show where they followed around a family of ducks.

I'm not alone - friends from college visited last fall, and we went to Navy Pier (in Chicago).  As we were walking back to the train, my friend asked where the seals were.

In college, I worked for the library and one morning a week, I had to work the information desk from 7:00 to 12:00.  A woman used to come complain all the time that men were using the women's bathroom.  When I finally asked her what made her decide that, she told me it was because when she went in there, all of the lids were up.  (The cleaning people put them up when they cleaned the toilets.)