Monday, February 17, 2014

In Which We Reconvene...

It's been a bit over a year since the day my world came crumbling down around me.  I'm still struggling to wrap my head around it all. 

My water broke at 6:00 in the morning, May 13.  Squeak was born on May 14 at 2:23 am.  I went back to work on the 25th of June.  And then I put my notice in at my company in Chicago, worked until 9/20, spent the weekend moving to my parents' house and started at my new company on Monday, September 23.

I STILL haven't found a house here so my stuff is still in Chicago.  I think a big part of the problem there is that I do not want to be here.  I don't want to leave there.  I don't want to leave the place, my studio, my friends, etc.  I don't want to admit that her father doesn't care.  I don't want to leave.

Except, I've already left.  I've been with my new company for nearly 5 months.  I'm currently driving 60 miles each way, every day.  I love Petunia, but gas mileage is not her best thing.  Filling her tank every day or so is KILLING me.

One more thing: I spent last weekend in Chicago, staying with a friend, while we packed up my kitchen and dining room.  At some point between 1/19 when my friend was there last and 1/31 when my landlady found it, a pipe burst in my kitchen.  This has required my kitchen to be gutted out to the external brick.  A team of water/fire/mold experts came in and cleaned.   The floor in the dining room, and part of the wall, had to be torn out as well.  So that was awesome.

And walking into that house, and smelling the damp, and seeing the destruction, made me realize that I'll never stay in that house again.  And it hit me all over again how unhappy I am to be in Ohio.  Sigh.

I have to wonder about the CRAZY housing market here.  It's worse than Chicago, where, if it was on the market more than a day, something was wrong with it.  I have actually walked through at least 10 houses.  I've had easily twice that many cancel because they've already been rented.  And that doesn't count the houses (at least 15 or so) that will not allow pets.  So it's not like I'm not trying.

Of the ones I've seen, the house in Seville was beautiful but 50 miles away from EVERYTHING.  More of a problem was the pond.  The owner mentioned that they used to have 3 little donkeys but a month or so before, one of them fell into the pond (RIGHT OUTSIDE THE HOUSE) and drowned.  If a donkey can't get out of the pond, my daughter would be toast.

Then there was the huge, 6 bedroom house that clearly used to be amazing but was so run down that probably the only hope is a wrecking ball.

And the tiny, super expensive houses in Bay Village.  One didn't even have a basement.  And the tiny duplex in Bath.  Interesting that they can apparently count the square footage of a garage if it's attached, even without a door to the inside.

And the gorgeous historical home in Highland Square that had plaster walls that were bubbling off due to the water damage.  (Thanks, but I really hope to be done with water for a while.)  The historical home in the middle of nowhere that was going to have the crazy caretaker ("I don't need any drugs now that God is talking to me.") living in the basement.  The craftsman bungalow that reeked of pot and had no appliances... The super expense yet small ranch in West Akron with a vertical driveway and zero storage... The house in Medina that had no grass, and an oven from the early 50s - which I wouldn't have minded, had it worked.

And so on and so forth.  So that's been frustrating.  I just feel like I'm stuck in such a rut.  I need a house.  I need to get out of Chicago.  I need my own routine.  My parents would like their house and life back.

In the meantime, Squeak is 9 months old.  She's got four teeth, all on the bottom, and most resembles a tiny bulldog.  Her hair is a dandylion fluff of white gold that waves around her head like a fraggle.

I'm not yet at the point that I can't imagine life without her, because I totally can.  And it would be fabulous.  But, I can imagine life WITH her and I'm looking forward to Halloween costumes and Christmas mornings and seeing the world through her eyes.  So, that's progress, I guess.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.  I NEED A HOUSE.