Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Pay Attention Much?

Last night, I had a phone conference with my esteemed colleauges in Japan and Singapore. Just out of curiosity, if WE are the global headquarters, why is my ass at work for a call until midnight?! Fucking time zones.

At any rate, I went home, snarfed down some cereal and fell into bed. I did not, as per my usual, pack a lunch. Or set out clothes. Or ready the coffee pot (which died on me the other day. *sob* Oh, faithful friend, how I miss thee.)

I'm just now getting around to eating the lunch I packed this morning. Wow. No wonder I do this sort of thing the evening before. I have 3 apples and 3 string cheese things in there. Apparently this morning, I just circled helplessly from the fridge to the lunch bag and back for a while. *headshake* Alrighty then.

I did only grab one granola bar. But here's the thing. I've been buying the same brand and the same flavor of granola bar for YEARS. [yes, I enjoy my rut - thankyouverymuch] I vaguely remember having to fumble around with a new box this morning, but until I pulled the thing out of the bag a minute ago, I didn't notice that it is totally the wrong size. And brand. And flavor. So instead of my yummy chewy granola bar, I have 2 bars of strangely flavored rock which are crumbling to dust in my keyboard as I speak. Um, type. How the hell did I end up with these things? I must have been unconscious in the store too.

More terrifying is the thought that I AM turning into my mother - she's renowned for going to the store and coming back with the wrong thing (ie going for sour cream, coming back with french onion chip dip, that sort of thing). I'm so doomed.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Wish Me Luck...

I fly out on Sunday to an interview in North Carolina. The town sounds neat, the job sounds good, we'll have to see how it goes. I really don't like interviewing. I don't like change. I'd really rather just stay in my comfy little rut.

But, my job has reached all new levels of hell, and the writing's on the wall - I really think that they'll be phasing out my department. It would be good to be the one to make the decision to leave.

So, off I toddle to try to impress these people. Now, am I dazzling them with bullshit or baffling them with brilliance? I get so confused. I'll be back on Tuesday. Cross your fingers for me.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Mascot Trauma

You know, my life didn't start out this way. I attended the same school from kindergarden through graduation, and our mascot was the viking. It varied from a hairy, Hagar the Horrible type to the sleek profile used by the Minnesota football team. But, all in all, a mascot to be proud of.

Then I went to college. To the University of Akron. And what exactly is our fearsome mascot, designed to strike terror into the hearts of our foe?

Yup. Zippy the Kangaroo. Not only that, but the sordid truth of the matter is that something is um, well, off with Zippy. Everyone has always referred to him as a him, but the picture above clearly shows... a pouch. Boy kangaroos don't have those, as I understand it. So, Zippy is transgender, or a hermaphrodite, or a cross dresser.

The friendly, happy Zippy is the one that I'm used to. Shortly after I graduated from UA, they gave Zippy a makeover. He's now a fierce, frowny, 'roided out, blue Zippy. Maybe just me, but I'm still not overly intimidated by him. It. Her. Whatever.

About the only sport I feel is worth watching (quit throwing beer cans at me, it's not nice) is baseball. And which team do I follow? Cleveland of course. With Chief Wahoo. Another mascot dud. (Although here I must add that I'm very change-adverse, and if those wackos with nothing better to do than bitch about non-pc mascots get their way, and Chief Wahoo goes the way of the dodo, I'm probably going to be pissed off enough to stop following the Tribe. What can I say? I hold grudges for things like that.)

It could be worse. I could follow Cincinnati. The Gapper? What's up with that?? What is that thing anyway?

And now, the teams getting national recognition right now - Ohio State and Florida State. Florida's mascot makes sense. Think of Florida, and what comes to mind? Oranges and gators (and that overly commercialized rodent, but that's neither here nor there). What's Ohio State's mascot? The buckeye.

Hello, folks. It's a nut. From a tree. That's even worse than the kangaroo. Although tailgate parties could include those tasty little candies... Maybe that's what they were thinking. Hmm.

So, what's your school/team mascot?

Friday, January 05, 2007

Spiders in Nature

This is what you'd end up with if Jack Handy was doing nature videos.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

And Here We Are Again...

It doesn't feel like a brave new year. Feels just like the same one I fled last week. The re-org announcement finally came out, so I've spent most of the day fielding paniced calls from people wondering who is going to be doing all the stuff I've been doing. So that has been marginally amusing - sending everyone over to the turncoat.

In other news, I'm beginning to understand what people mean when they say that getting older isn't for the faint of heart. I ache, dammit. In those wild salad days of yore, I spent 22 hours straight driving a standard transmission from Phoenix through to Dallas. (It took 22 hours 'cause I got REALLY lost and wandered back into New Mexico at some point.) Yesterday I spent less than seven hours (zoooommmmm!) driving from Northeastern Ohio back to Chicago's southwestern suburbs. Today, I hurt. My butt is sore, my knees are complaining and even my elbows are unhappy with me. WTF? And I have a sinking feeling that it's all downhill from here. *sigh*