Well This Is Gross.

(If you're particularly squeamish, stop here. Wait for me to remember the pictures from last week so I actually publish the cool little frogs. Really, you have been warned.)

I just got back from the vet's office. Yuck, yuck, yuck. There are a lot of inner workings (cat, people, etc) that I'm just as happy to never know about. Ever. Thursday evening, the Peanut came over to the recliner, sat strangely on the floor, looked directly into my eyes and started chattering away. Clearly she wanted something. Just as clearly, I had no clue what. Then, still demanding whatever and looking right at me, she started dragging her rear across the floor. In dog world, this means... worms. Ugh. Here are words that as a pet owner, I'd be thrilled to never say: discharge... stain... odor... Really, it's nearly enough to have me investigating pet rocks.

So, one thing leading to another, I called the vet on Friday for an appointment - and they managed to squeeze me in on Monday. Then Friday evening, Sophia started acting strangely too. She would never be so undignified as to drag her rear across the carpet, but something was undoubtedly wrong. Suddenly her skin would twitch and she'd take off running, only to stop and start licking frantically.

Over the weekend, I gathered my courage and went looking for evidence of my dog = cat theory and found nothing. No fleas, no worms, no worm-looking things - just odd behavior.

I had a couple of other issues to ask a vet about regarding Sophia so tonight she lost the vet lottery. One bad thing about the new place - WAY too much room for cats to run and not nearly enough ways to trap them in rooms with doors. I'm going to make my millions by perfecting a very slippery silicone funnel - the cat funnel - and you'll just stick one end in the opening of a cat carrier (placed on end), drop the cat into the funnel and watch 'em spin down into the carrier - like one of those make a wish things with the change. I swear that animal grows several extra limbs when it comes time to stuff her furry little body into the evil plastic box.

At any rate, the news was mostly good - fecal came back negative for creepy crawlies, her Avid chip still works, although it has migrated down her back a bit, and the sore under her ear is nothing serious and easy to remove. Then the vet drew a picture and educated me on more things I'd really rather not think about... like glands. And where they are located in cats - which explains why cats are always interested in sniffing one another's nether regions. And how sometimes, things (or glands) get clogged... with stuff. Good news - the vet made it all better. The bad news - Sophia made noises I didn't know were possible from a domesticated animal and did her level best to maime the vet and the 2 techs it took to hold her down for the um, cleansing... and once again, she's got a warning in her file so they know to bring out the lion tamer gloves when she comes to visit. That's my baby.

So now I have to work out how to trap the Peanut on Thursday, when it's her turn for a cleansing, and I have to try to figure out how exactly they both got... clogged at the same time (assuming Peanut's problem is the same as Sophia's) and then for the real trick - how to capture Sophia next week for the vet appointment to remove the cyst thing on her neck.

Those rocks are looking mighty attractive right now.