Well, That's That, Then.

Sometimes, I think my life is like a French farce.  Except not French.  And sometimes, not very funny.  So exactly like that but completely different.  Yup.

I found out on Friday, February 15, 2013 that Squeak was on the way.  I told her father on Monday, February 18, 2013.  We texted back and forth, but I didn't see him again until July 2013.  (He claims that he stopped over to my house several times, but I wasn't home.)  I told him and told him that I'd like to try us, but if he walked, I was moving back to Ohio to be near my family because I didn't think I could do it alone in Chicago.  He kept saying that he didn't want me to leave, and he wasn't going to walk, but I didn't see him very often.  (The sum total of his contribution, aside from kid herself, has been a broken shoestring to play with the cat.)  By the end of August, I'd interviewed for a job in Ohio, had a job offer and was negotiating salary requirements.  This, he knew.  After I accepted the job in Ohio, put in my notice in Chicago, and started preparing to move, he said again that he didn't want me to leave.  And spoke of transferring to Ohio as well.

I started the job in Ohio in the end of September, 2013.  I was back in Chicago in November 2013, December 2013, February 2014, April 2014 and June 2014.  Every time, we'd been texting, he wanted to see us, blah blah blah and then something came up and he couldn't make it.

I've made it clear that I wasn't going to go to court and demand anything from him, but I was not okay with his family not knowing about her.  We are both single, consenting adults.  These things happen.  My family is very small and far-flung.  His family is huge and relatively close.  Every time I got after him about telling them, I got "I know, I know, I'm going to." 

So in October 2014, I sent this:

Hey,

You’ve made it pretty clear that you’re out, which is your choice.   But any drama that I can handle before she starts realizing what’s going on around her, I will. 

So here are your options:

1)      You have an excellent reason that you are keeping her a secret.  (Hint: I can’t think of anything excellent enough.)

2)      You tell your family that you have another daughter. 

3)      I will inform your family that you have another daughter.

Your call, but I’ve been about as patient as I’m going to be.  I’m not looking to jam you up or anything, but I won’t tolerate them not knowing at all.

If they chose to not care, that’s fine but she is not going to have to inform them that she exists. 

Let me know what you decide before the end of this month.  (Also, school pictures are tomorrow.  Let me know if you want one.)

And I got... no response.  His cell phone got shut off - again - but we both have kik.  I asked him if he'd gotten the email, and I know he read it, but he never responded.

So in November 2014, I wrote this:

Hello.

I’ve been writing this on and off for several days.  I am not looking to make trouble for anyone, but I feel – strongly – that you have the right to know this.  Last May (5/14/13), I gave birth to C-- W---'s daughter.  Her name is xxxxx.  I also feel – even more strongly – that this notification of existence is not something I am willing to leave for her to have to deal with someday.  I have included pictures of her for you.  He has chosen to not be involved.

How you react is entirely up to you, but in my ideal world, you would choose to know her.  I have a small far-flung family.  She and I will get along just fine, but I think knowing you can only be a positive thing for her.      

Having a child was not ever in my plans, not even a little.  So, some restructuring of my life was necessary.  I moved back to Ohio, to be near my parents and other family.  Should you choose to be involved in whatever fashion in xxxxx’s life, I will be happy to work with you to make that happen.  (I have very dear friends in Nashville and Chicago, so trips to both places happen on a fairly regular basis.)

I suppose that you are wondering about me.  I was born and raised in xxxxx, Ohio by xxx and xxxx.  He is retired from xxxx and still does the occasional electrical contracting job, she was a secretary and a homemaker.  They still live together in the house where I grew up with my younger brother.  I graduated from the xxxxx, with a degree in xxxx Engineering.  I have a career that I love, in supplier quality engineering, that helps make me financially stable.  It has moved me from Ohio to Chicago, North Carolina, back to Chicago, and now back to Ohio, in addition to allowing me to travel extensively.  I have a slew of hobbies – pottery, reading, cross-stitch, geocaching, etc – that have all currently taken a bit of a back seat to child rearing.  I met C--- online in July 2013 on an online dating site.  

xxxxx (or Squeak or BJ or monster or …) is a very active and healthy toddler.  She had a heart murmur that was corrected with a cardiac catharization procedure this summer.  We’ve corrected the tongue tie, but still need to handle the lip tie.  She loves helping, throwing things on the floor, and mauling the cats (now that she’s fast enough to catch them).  Live music is her favorite, socks are for eating, and her primary goals in life include successfully capturing someone’s – anyone’s – smart phone, climbing out of the pack n play, and going headfirst down stairs.  Generally, it’s time to find her when you hear the crash, followed by “uh oh” (which is her favorite word).  I hope that you decide to know her.

I’ll not bother you further, but I want the best for Squeak and welcome your involvement.  Please feel free to contact me by phone [personal cell: xxx; work cell (that actually gets reception in my house): xxx], email [personal: xxx, work: xxx], online [https://www.facebook.com/xxx] or via mail [xxx].

The packets included this letter, my business card, her birth announcement, last year's Christmas card, her "school" picture, and about 40 snapshots from birth to current age.  I'd google stalked his parents and found their address in Tennessee, and his aunt's work address in Illinois.  The two packets went out registered mail on 11/18/14.

Then the person who signed for the TN packet was NOT one of his parents.  And the facebook message I sent to his mom went to her "other" folder, where she will NEVER find it.  And the woman in IL called me because it turns out he's got one of the most common last names in the country and in spite of her being a real estate agent at the same company that his dad retired from after 30+ years, they are not related.

So I returned to my stalking, and discovered his dad's sister-in-law is an artist and had a show at their library.  I really liked her work, and I've been filling Squeak's nursery with family (blood and chosen) art for her.  I called the library, and told them that I'd seen her show and wanted to buy a painting for my daughter's nursery and could they put me in touch?  She works there, so she called the next day.  We talked about the painting - size, cost, subject, etc - and then she asked how I found the show, given that I was in Cleveland.  So I told her.  And she asked if his parents knew, and then freaked out over her facebook settings which were supposed to be private.  She didn't care about another child at all, just that she had to adjust her settings.  *headdesk*  We left it that she would email me a picture of the painting when it was done, and if she talked to his mom, she'd tell her to check the "other" folder.

In the course of my stalking, I'd found a cell phone number for his dad.  So around Thanksgiving, I called it and his mom answered.  I said "My name is Ericka xxxx, and I sent you a package in October.  I'm calling to confirm receipt."  And she said, "I have no desire to talk to you."  And I said, "Okay, thank you" and hung up.  I'm sorry, my baby, I tried.

So.  That's that.

I won't contact his kids while they are minors, but his daughter is 16.  I suppose, in 2 years, I'll need to think about that.  For now, though, Squeak has me and that'll just have to be enough.

This is really long.  Wow.  So, here's a picture of my kid since you made it this far.  How could you not want to know her??

Joss and Main Soho Console Chest UPDATED

Do you ever have one of those lives where every little thing is just a hassle?

In January, I fell in love.  With a console table.  It was beautiful and called to me.  But it was very expensive, so I mourned and moved on.  And then in April, I found it again at about a third of the price.  So I ordered it from Joss and Main.  And then they delayed the delivery 4 times – stretching it out until December.  And then they cancelled the order.  And I was sad.  And also angry.  They were keeping me from my love.  Isn’t it wonderful?  So I called early last week and growled and they put the order back in because it was available on a sister site except she had to mess with it to get the price the same as what I paid because they were charging over $100 more for it.  And also, after the 4^th delay I emailed them and grouched so they gave me $15 off.  And it was to be delivered LAST WEEK instead of December.  And the sun came out and I was so happy.
 

So pretty.  So perfect for my living room...

And I got home last Wednesday and there was a huge heavy box on my porch and I was SO excited!  I hauled it into the house and tore into it like a 3 year old on Christmas morning.  And they sent the wrong g*dd*mn color.  This thing is hideous.  I love blue, usually.  But, yuck.

So not pretty.  :-(

I chatted with them last Thursday because there’s no way I would not have used bad words on the phone because they are thwarting me, g*dd*mm*t, and I’ve had about enough of that lately.  And they said that they'd send another one.  And I have to keep this one for 3 weeks in case they want to come inspect it.  And if I didn't hear from them, I could donate it.  

So then Saturday, the doorbell rang and POOF there was ANOTHER huge box on my porch.  YAY!   I dragged it inside (heavy!), but this time, I was a bit more careful in opening the box, which was fortunate because THEY SENT THE WRONG DAMN COLOR AGAIN.  I called (Wayfair.com this time) and spoke to a manager (Jesse) and sent him pictures of the boxes and the lower shelves and he said that he'd talk to the warehouse on Monday and figure out what was going on.  (Both boxes said that they were the black one.  Both boxes were wrong.)

Then Wednesday, I emailed Jesse because I hadn't heard anything and he came back and said that he hasn't heard back from the warehouse and he hoped that he'd have something by Friday (today, for those keeping track at home).

Soon, hopefully, maybe, possibly, my lovely lovely chest will be here where it belongs.  Until then, I have TWO huge boxes taking up most of the room in my living room, I've waited 6 months for something that was supposed to take a week, and I've spent at least an hour emailing, chatting and talking to various people trying to get things straightened out.  *growl.  snarl.*  Why can't ANYTHING be easy??

Next up, a sleeper sofa for the living room.  Except I want a queen, but 60 inches wide.  So at least I will remain reasonable in my demands...








Update:  
I did not hear from Jesse on Friday.  I emailed him again on Tuesday (11/11/14) and asked for the status.  And heard nothing.   

Final Update:
It turns out that when the pictures and description of the console chest was moved from Joss and Main to Wayfare (their sister site), the color names and pictures were reversed.  So I kept ordering the black one and they kept sending the black one, but my black and their black were different.


Anywho, the third chest was the right color.  YAY!  So pretty!  Except, now I have two extra huge boxes in my living room.  So, I called back and they said that they'd send UPS shipping labels and I said that's great, but I travel for work so I have to call to arrange pick-up for when I'm home.  And they said no problem!  And then I left for a week, and came back to 4 UPS "Sorry we missed you" labels on the door.  Argh.  So I called UPS but they weren't willing to come out anymore and I called Wayfare and they just really wanted me to go away.


So I tried listed the chests on craigslist, but no one else wanted them either.  Then I was trying to get ready to move.  So one chest went home with a college friend who came over and bailed me out when I was panicking over moving into temporary housing.  And the second chest went home with one of my movers.  So, happy ending but man, what a hassle!

Disturbing...

A friend of mine posted a link to this blog post on Facebook today.  In it, a woman details a train ride wherein she is accosted by strangers in ham-handed attempts (apparently) to pick her up that become very nightmarish.

And my friend posted a comment about her very similar experience last week in Portland.  A month ago, I had something similar happen to me here in Chicago.  In less than 3 hours, my friend's post had more than twenty comments, from women of all shapes and colors, from all over the country, talking experiencing nearly identical  (well, let's be blunt here) verbal attacks on or near public transit.  My friend's experience was at a bus stop - the timely arrival of the bus saved her.  Two older women moved from the back of the train car to sit next to me, and their glares backed the guy down when mine appeared to be making things worse.  Every one else managed to escape unharmed as well.  But reading those comments struck me like a board.

When I was talking about my experience later with friends, my female friends were sympathetic - they'd been there too.  My male friends generally made some comment about how I should expect guys to try to pick me up 'cause I'm pretty.  More than one male friend asked if my hair was down, because my hair is gorgeous (they said...) and they didn't blame random strangers for wanting to talk to me or touch me when I was displaying my locks.  Their comments made me FURIOUS but I was having a hard time articulating why I was so upset. 

I think she says it very well:

So when people (men) want to talk about “legitimate” forms of assault, tell girls they should be nice to strangers and give men the benefit of a doubt, tell them to consider it a compliment, tell them to ignore the bad behavior of men, I want them to be forced to feel, for even one minute, what it feels like to have so much verbal hatred and physical intimidation thrown at them for nothing more than being female and not wanting to share.


I just wanted to read my book.

It’s not my fault I’m pretty.

Because you know what?  I'm 38.  I don't dress particularly well - jeans and button downs - not provocatively at all.  "Fluffy" body type.  I don't make any attempt to attract.  But if I am alone on a train or a bus, odds are very good that some guy will come over, try to force eye contact and make a pest out of himself.

I am strong, intelligent, and I've been looking out for myself for a long time.  I HATE it when I'm made to feel small and weak.  I hate that I avoid eye contact with strangers.  I hate that I feel threatened every time a male comes too close.  I hate that, from the time I leave my door until the time I return, I am alert and braced and ready for attack.  I don't want to get all political here, but I really do believe there is a war on women happening in this country right now.  And it is being waged not just by the jerks on the train who are obnoxious and rude but also by every guy out there that downplays that behavior.  Everyone out there who tells me (and every other female) that it is our fault.  We shouldn't wear our hair down.  We shouldn't wear a dress.  Or pretty shoes.
You know what?  Bullshit.  I wish you could spend an hour in my shoes.  Women grow up knowing that we are smaller, and weaker.  Things can happen to us.  We need to be aware and alert and ready to run all the time.  That is what I wish men could experience.  Just for a little while.  It doesn't matter how smart I am or how much I work out or how alert I am - that swaggering asshole on the train makes me aware that I am prey.  And that is what I wish I could make men experience.  Live it for one train ride.  Then tell me I deserve it for being pretty.  I dare you.

WARNING: If You Belong to 24 Hour Fitness Gyms...

I am on facebook, and completely addicted to it, and I am connected with most of the people in my class from high school.  One of them lives in California, outside LA.  As near as I can tell, he's a total gym rat and he has a physique rarely seen in actual, real-life humans.  But, he's kind of an asshole.  And by "kind of an asshole," I mean "pretty much a total asshole."  One of his favorite pastimes, while hanging out at his gym ALL the time, is to take pictures with his cell phone of people - men and women - who do not share his dedication to the gym.  And then he posts those pictures on his facebook wall with nasty, mocking comments about how horrible these people look.  And then he and his smug, well-toned little friends have a ball continuing to leave hateful comments on these pictures.

I've been pretty much skipping his posts for a while, but it bugged me.  And the idea of having someone do that to me is one of the reasons I dread going to the gym.  (FYI - I belong to a different gym.)  So I called 24 Hour Fitness and ratted him out.  "Andre" transferred me to "Autumn," who demanded the 10 digit code to the gym in question as well as the guy's code.  And when I said that I didn't have that information, "Autumn" (who, by accent, resides somewhere in India) said that there was nothing she could do and that I should have a nice day.  And when I asked who else I could talk to, we strangely got disconnected.

So, if you belong to a 24 Hour Fitness, know that you may well be on candid camera.  Know too that it is apparently just fine with their customer service people.  Happy workout!

November 24 - TSA Opt Out Day

I've read several articles lately that said that the American public is perfectly okay with the new body scanners at airports because that is necessary to make them safe. Every time I read it, my head explodes.

When you allow a government to control your actions, words and deeds, it is not a democracy. Safety is an illusion. You are not safe. The government can't protect you. It SHOULDN'T protect you because that is not its job. The government is not your parent. You are not a child. A government controlling its citizens is tyranny. And I am sick to the eyes of people claiming they are safer if the government controls how much liquid you can bring on a plane, or makes you strip off your coat, shoes, belt, sweater, jacket, hat, hoodie, etc or makes you deposit your laptop, keys, cell phone, pda, etc in the little basket. Personally, I'd feel much more secure if everyone on board was armed to the teeth. I find it interesting that our government is subjecting us to searches that US soldiers are not allowed to administer on hostile ground.

"Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

This is attributed to Ben Franklin. Smart guy, that Ben.

Why do so many people have such a problem understanding that the bumper stickers are absolutely right? Freedom isn't free. The cost, however, is not just sacrificing our soldiers on some foreign soil. The cost of being free includes knowing that it is possible for 9/11 to happen. And happen again.

The cost of being free is knowing that freedom to act, to speak freely can allow the extreme few to act in some horrific fashion.

It is way past time that the citizens of this country remember that. And remember that the government works for us, not the other way around. (I'll rant about the job of politician being one that no one who wants it should be allowed to have another day.)

So, on November 24, if you are flying anywhere in the 'States, opt out of the screening. And if you're male, wear a kilt. Commando style. We have to start somewhere in taking back our freedoms, and why not start with making the TSA as miserable as we are?

Update: I like her take on things. I applaud the decision of California DA Steve Wagstaffe to prosecute TSA employees who are guilty of sexual assault. I feel for Erin and what she went through at the Dayton airport.

I Hate People, Reason 42948570 - updated!

Have you seen this? If you know this woman who this woman is, turn her in. The cat was rescued, 15 hours later, by her owners - more information available here.



UPDATE: They found her. Her name is Mary Bale and now the poor thing is under police protection to keep all the crazy cat people from killing her. Her mother says that she "loves cats."

(Have you ever noticed how many people who like cats are completely barking mad over them? One woman told me, with complete seriousness, that her little angel would NEVER kill a bird because they had a conversation, and she explained... to her cat... that birds were good, so her cat only killed spiders. Okey dokey.)

Gobsmacked.

I got fired today.

Actually, I put in my resignation to save them the trouble of firing me.

This has never happened to me before and right now, I'm wandering around my house cleaning. I don't know what else to do. My brother tried, via text, to get me to get back the resignation letter in time but it was too late. I was totally gobsmacked and didn't even think about unemployment, so the idiot managed to fuck me again.

There's been political BS going on, and I knew the idiot had an agenda, but in his typical two-faced swine kinda way, he told me in our last one on one that I was a top performer. This was pretty much completely unexpected.

I have no idea what I'm going to do. I was not prepared for this, and money is going to rear its ugly head soon.

I'm going to go cry now.

Recovered?

Well, not really. But I'm home, and REALLY happy to be here.

I packed up and left on Saturday. My original thought was to leave on Friday, after work, but that never works out and I'm just sick of rushing around and making myself crazy trying to leave now now now. Screw that. I'm on vacation, I'll go when I'm good and ready. Of course, if that were totally true, I'd have probably stayed home. The cabins aren't very clean, they don't have air conditioning or decent lighting or comfortable seating, you have to bring EVERYTHING with you... The woods are FULL of poison ivy, mosquitoes and ticks... It is HOT... The water is HOT and really dirty... I don't care for fishing, I enjoy skiing for about 20 minutes, I can't park myself in the sun for hours on end... This is just not my idea of a good time.

That being said, I really needed a vacation from here, and I REALLY needed some family time. So I packed up everything (including the kitchen sink) and away I went.

I have no idea what this bug is, but I found it on the hood of my jeep when I stopped for gas. I pried it off as gently as possible and put it in a bush by the gas station.



I arrived about 5:00 am on Sunday morning, the kid at the gate had no idea what was going on but there was a ranger still around who gave me my key and off I went to the cabin. Usually, to unload into that particular cabin, we back the vehicle down the gravel hill almost to the door but I was pretty convinced that I wasn't going to be able to do that quietly and there was no point in waking up the whole cabin area that early so I just hoofed it up and down that darn hill four hundred million times. *pant* *gasp*



Here's some perspective what everything looks like. It's about a mile from the gatehouse at the entrance of the park to the cabin area.


My cabin:


My brother's cabin and the cabins that the Amish were staying in:


From my cabin down toward the lake:


The dock, in its current configuration:


The lake, from the dock:



We do swim from the "beach" by the cabins but typically, we take a boat to the swimmers beach, where there's sand and a gentle slope.


I have no idea what kind of bush this is, but the butterflies LOVED it. So did the bees, and there were enough ball-like blooms to keep everyone friends.




Note the bee sipping from one side, and the butterfly on the other.




It doesn't show really well here, but this butterfly had a dual set of wings, and could hover like a hummingbird. Really neat!


I tromped about a foot from the path to get these pictures, and found a tick on my thigh when I was finished. Not venturing from the path puts a damper on my adventuring!

The shore is all rocks - the best skipping stones you've ever seen in your life. I am by no means a champion stone skipper, but even I can manage 7 or 8 hops with these flat, thin, smooth rocks!


A wander along the shore uncovered treasure... Blackberries! These weren't ready, but I found some further on that were quite yummy.


Anyone home? I didn't find the spider, but the web was interesting.


Continuing my trend, I found some interesting remains to poke at as well.


And, of course, the most prolific native flora.



This is the third year that we shared the cabin area with Amish on vacation. They arrive in (as my brother calls them) "Yoder toters" - the huge conversion vans that they hire to get around, towing sizable trailers. There are several related families and they stay in two cabins. They fascinate me 'cause hey, they're normal people! Who'd have thunk it, right? And watching an Amish gentleman sit in a camp chair, drink a beer out of a can and chatter on a cell phone is the trippiest thing ever. They bring two fishing boats with them, with all of the bells and whistles. And then we have the Amish electricity - they run extension cords from the cabins down to the dock to charge the fish finder, the troll motor and other electronic goodies on the boat. This nearly gives my dad (the master electrician) a stroke every year.






In addition to the butterflies, mosquitoes and ticks, there other bugs. MANY MANY other bugs. Some were cool, like the cicada that hatched on the wall of my porch and the imperial moth that was on the door another evening. (It was larger than my hand and while it looks dull in the dim security light, a flashlight showed that it was yellow with pink and cream markings - really beautiful!)


I did not take pictures of the millions of white bugs. (They look like mosquitoes, but they're fuzzy and white and don't bite. They do, however, die by the THOUSANDS and coat every surface under a light. This is why the bedspread stays on the bed - to catch them and keep them off the sheets.) Or the ants. Or the beetles, silverfish, roaches, house flies, earwigs, etc.

Some quality time was spent on my brother's boat, lounging, skiing, tubing, sunburning the living crap out of myself...

My new best friend:


Friends drove down on Friday, and we managed to get into the water for about 10 minutes before the storm rolled in... And then it poured for several hours so they took their cranky toddler and went home but I enjoyed the thunder and the relief from the heat and humidity! The storm made quite an entrance.




It was clear for Saturday, when we packed up and headed out. This picture doesn't do it justice - you could see the sun sparkling on the water through the trees.


Check out is 10:00 on Saturday. I got up at 8:30, and was completely packed and ready to go by 9:20. My parents took HOURS. We were supposed to have brunch on the way out. I sat and waited for them (because they kept insisting that they were done except for odds and ends) until we finally left the cabin area at 10:30, and they still had to get the boat on the trailer. So, the plan was to meet at the marina. At 12:15, I called them because the cook was putting away the breakfast stuff. My mother decided that she wanted to take a nature walk and that we would wait. Gah! So it was after 2 pm before I managed to get on the road to come back here.

But, after several years, Mom has finally figured out that it's her and not the rest of us. She told me that she remembered things perfectly but that she was wrong. No shit, Sherlock. On July 3, she decided that Dad and my brother were going to come down and swim instead of Dad showering and getting ready to go out for their wedding anniversary. So she sat down on the dock and waited for them until after 6:30 - when they were supposed to leave for dinner at 6:00. If dad says anything to her, she gets really snappish and bitchy and he's just given up, so instead of going down and getting her, he just made a sandwich and waited for her. She went up to the cabin, all pissed off 'cause they never came back down and she didn't believe him until she went and checked with my brother and got the same story - no swimming, you were supposed to go up and get ready to leave. She's been doing stuff like this for YEARS - usually to me - and she is always absolutely convinced that she is right. There's a quote somewhere about a woman who is frequently wrong but never uncertain and I'd swear that person knows my mother. Anyway, she's got a doctor's appointment next week and she's said that she'll ask the doctor about it.

All in all, I came back here more on edge than when I left. We had more than one talk about this place not being someplace I'd ever go on my own and why my parents are so insistent on coming back year after year after year after... So we'll see if we come back next year. If we do, I'm going to do what my brother and my parents did this year and bring an air conditioner down with me. I'm also going to bring down lamps. And maybe a chair. Or maybe I'll retreat back to the comfortable cabin a mile down the road. But this is the only real vacation I get in a year and I'm not going to subject myself to this again.

Don't Wanna

I leave tomorrow for Mexico. I'll start in Juarez, hit Chihuahua and end up in Reynosa. If the drug lords don't kill me, I'll be back on Friday night. I DO NOT WANT TO GO. Not even a little.

And just to add insult to injury, my plane leaves at 6:30 am tomorrow. Yay! I need to pack and stop at work to grab the paperweight (aka laptop). Wish me luck.

Assistant FAIL

All of the salaried employees in my factory share one administrative assistant, and unfortunately, ours sucks.

Let's call the dear thing Gidget. Gidget is not just sullen, inane, sly, lazy, entitled, and bitchy, she's stupid and yet oddly convinced that she is capable and entirely deserving of the better-than-you attitude that she wields with such clumsiness.



Keep in mind that my mom was a secretary, so was my grandmother - both of the old school, shorthand taking, absolutely capable of running the company single-handedly sort. My last company had several admins of the same vein - they were bright, capable people who were almost scary in their ability, knowledge and efficiency so it is true that my expectations were high. (I make a point of making friends with the admins immediately 'cause they can either make your life much easier, or make your life hell.)

I've never have to work so hard in my life to get along with someone as with Gidget. And in the last couple of months, she's screwed up even more than usual. A few examples of her recent antics:

1. In spite of having the approved travel request form for three weeks, she didn't make my travel arrangements for my recent trip to Mexico until the Friday before I left. (I left the next Tuesday.) She only made them then because I asked her about them with the plant manager standing there. She whined the entire time because she "felt sick" and wanted to leave early and couldn't because mean me made her do this travel stuff. Because of her delay, the company was charged nearly $1000 more for my airfare. (We have to have her make the arrangements for us to travel, I'd be so much happier doing it myself.)

2. The charge card that she used for my hotel reservation was declined, so after calling and emailing with no response, the hotel cancelled the reservation. I found this out when I tried to check in and they had no rooms. They must have suspected that there'd be more to the story, because they had the emails and phone log in a folder behind the desk - so I KNOW they contacted her about it and she did nothing. End result: alone, in a taxi, somewhere in Mexico, at midnight, traveling to another hotel room for the night. Not only did she not do anything to help me, she never even apologized for getting me stranded. (Again. This isn't the first time her screw up has resulted in me stuck somewhere.)

3. I was in the process of bending to corporate will and getting a corporate card for this trip, so the airfare went on the ghost card. (The ghost card is a corporate credit card basically without a name attached for the admins to use as needed.) When one does an expense report, all of the charges for the trip have to be included, including charges on the ghost card. When Gidget bought my air tickets, she had to email me the itinerary since it was in the ghost card profile. When I did my expense report, I asked her to please send me the invoices for the airfare - I couldn't get into it since it was on the ghost card. She sent back an email telling me to follow the link she sent me (to the itinerary). I dug it out of my email archive and tried, but it had expired, so I sent her the link and asked her, again, to print out the e-invoices. She sent back a 5 MB email full of screenshots of the website, with big red arrows on where to click to get into the invoice, completely disregarding that it was IN HER PROFILE and I could not reach that page. I almost sent back screenshots of my own, but managed to restrain myself. So I walked across the entire factory to her desk and pointed to her name on her profile. She proceeded to walk me through the entire process that she'd just sent screenshots of, like I'm the idiot here. Then, after she's AT THE SCREEN with the invoices, she went to close it and then got all upset when I tore into her and told her to print it, which was what I asked for originally. She still believes that she was right and I was wrong.

4. Our volume is way up (yay!) and our factory has been working 10 hours a day, 6 days a week for months. At the recent incentive meeting, the plant provided a pizza lunch for everyone to thank them for the extra effort. (And they deserve it - the lines have been making their numbers EVERY day, and keeping quality very high - they've been doing an extraordinary job.) Gidget was responsible for ordering the pizza. That's all she had to do. Call and have the pizza delivered. She figured 2 slices of pizza per person, for 280 people. There are 7 slices in a large pizza. She ordered 20 pizzas. Just think about that for a second. For the math impaired, that's a quarter of what she should have ordered. So the assembly supervisor jumped in his car while a couple of the engineers called every pizza place in a 10 mile radius and collected every available pizza in the town to feed the plant. We asked them to each take one piece and then one of the other supervisors made a second run to pick up enough for seconds for people. Gidget did nothing to assist in the setup or teardown for the lunch, or the tearing around actually getting the lunch. Her facebook status was something about how hard she worked on this lunch and what a great job she did.

5. One of our buyers had his boss decide to postpone his scheduled trip to China - he had nothing to do with the situation. She got mad at him because she had to move the reservations, so she intentionally picked the most expensive ones and his cost center was charged an extra $2000.

6. I had the CEO and other upper management of one of my suppliers come in for a huge meeting. A month in advance, I booked the room and asked her to arrange the lunch. They were arriving at 10:00. At 9:00, she sent a decline notice for the room - she'd bumped me out of the room with an hour's notice for a routine internal meeting. When I told her I needed the room, she said everything was booked, and it wasn't her job to find me a replacement. (Actually, that is pretty much exactly her job.) I had to go to the plant manager to get my room back. And then she ordered 2 fewer lunches than she should have, so two of us had to wait until the restaurant delivered two more. Then I found out that it was actually 1 fewer but she decided she was entitled to lunch so she took one.

And so on...

Stupid, incompetent AND an attitude - what's not to love?

In an admittedly political maneuver, she's a friend of mine on facebook. (I have a special "work" list for these things so she's very limited in what she can see.) She spends her days on the phone to her sister, and updating her facebook status on her iphone. I know - I see all of her updates when I get home at night. She spends a lot of time playing bejeweled. She was already on my last nerve when she started posting things that I found to be really unprofessional. You know, like this:


My friend P is the manager of the test lab at my company, and she has a group from the Department of Energy coming in for a VERY IMPORTANT MEETING next week. In addition to managing a department of 10 people, she is project manager for several critical task forces that we are currently running. End result - she needs Gidget to be the admin and handle a lot of the arrangements for this meeting. Gidget has NOT been cooperative, and P and I have spent some quality time lately comparing notes on her.

Our plant manager is leaving, back to his home country, and we're getting a new one. I heard Gidget on the phone the other day, telling someone how tired her brain was 'cause for three and a half days ALL she'd done was work on the agenda for the new guy's week long visit. Seriously, she hasn't answered her phone or an email all week. And, she hasn't done anything to set things up for P's DOE meeting next week. This includes little niceties like letting the visitors know where to stay, how to get to the plant, how to get back, etc. Every company that I've ever worked for has had a packet of information for visitors (important suppliers, interviewees, guests from other factories, etc) that includes things like this.

So at lunch today, I was laughing to P about Gidget's latest facebook post, about something else she should be doing but has no idea...

And P turned red and then white and through her clenched teeth, informed me that Gidget was talking about HER voicemail. And told me that she hadn't gotten an answer to the voicemail, so she'd sent an email, and got back "check google maps" as a response. Huh. Maybe like this:


So, incompetent and proud of it! Win win!

I'm hoping the new plant manager will take one look at her and send her packing. We'll see. In the meantime, I have another trip to Mexico coming up - this time to Juarez and Chihuahua. With her at the helm, and the drug lords packing, what could possible go wrong??